Domestic Violence is Your Problem

There is a generation of children growing up believing that it is okay to hurt others this way and that is our problem as an intelligent society to look at and try to fix. We are all responsible for our own actions but when children grow up with a distorted sense of what a relationship is we have to show them that there is a better way to live.If your spouse, intimate partner, or date uses physical violence, threats, emotional abuse, harassment, or stalking to control the behavior of partners, they are committing domestic violence.Some men are victims of domestic violence but most are women. Anyone who witnesses domestic violence are also victims. The children are the ones who are affected the most; they will also suffer from behavioral and cognitive problems.

They are likely to be aggressive if they are a witness to domestic violence. Statistics are showing that some boys and girls engage in criminal behavior if they grow up in homes where abusive behavior exists.There is a greater possibility that they will also have violent relationships when they are adults. If you, a relative, a friend, or a neighbor is living in a domestic abuse situation, think about developing a safety plan. Start with the little things like a spare set of keys, phone numbers, birth certificates, passports, bankbooks, and insurance or mortgage papers in a safe place only known to you.Most of the time that will be with a trusted friend or relative.

Plan the best way to get out of your home quickly and safely. You should always have this in place if a battering incident begins. If you have to leave your home, you should have the names and phone numbers of shelters, safe houses, or a trusted friend.If you are being battered or you know that a spouse or intimate partner is battering their partner call the police right away for help, if you can get to a phone safely. Don't be afraid to ask for immediate help. Domestic violence is a crime, not a " family secret.

" If you are a child tell a teacher or guidance counselor that you trust or phone the police from a safe place.Remember that you do have Rights under the Law use them.You or anyone else experiencing domestic violence has the right to go to court and petition for an order of protection.

You should also ask for custody of your children and child support at the same time.
You should try to get a lawyer to represent you and protect all of your rights under the law. Call a local agency against domestic violence, a crisis hotline, or the bar association to learn more about where to find legal help.Not all lawyers are the same. Don't use the same one that did the paper work when you bought your home, incorporated our business or read Aunt Hatties will unless you can convince them that this is a high maintenance case and they have to protect you, your children and your interests. It is really best to try to find an attorney that deals only with family or domestic violence law.

They can best understand the situation and the importance of protecting the victims.There are many services available to help families struggling with domestic violence. Always remember safety comes first. Financial options, safe housing, and relocation options are usually available with a shelter recommendation.There are also domestic violence counseling services available from social service agencies. Check your local phone directory for listings of government services for battered women.

Domestic violence is a crime that affects us all. We all need to be aware of the consequences of it. At home and in our schools, the evidence is there. It might not be in your family but you can bet your child goes to school with somebody who's parent is being assaulted physically, emotionally or mentally by somebody they love.The courts are overflowing with an increasing number of cases that directly relate to domestic violence. Our children suffer with low self-esteem, self-worth, and lack of relationship skills.

For most women their standard of living is affected. Some go from mansions to a hole in the wall just to feel safe. These women are hardest hit I believe and sometimes go back to their abuser because of finances and the kids say that it was that bad. Some women that don't go back are unable to trust and their ability to form a loving partnership with another individual is hindered. The companies that hire these men and women suffer, by a loss of employee productivity and absenteeism.

There are times when going to work is the only reprieve for some though. If you know of somebody at your place of work that is abusive or involved in a domestic violent relationship don't say it's not my problem ask them discreetly if they would like to talk about it and have a number for the local shelter handy.We are all responsible for the next generation and it is those children who will be affected by it. Even if you are not directly involved do something to help others who are in a violent situation.
Your children might hear the neighbours beating on each other and it will affect them if you don't try to stop the violence by calling the police.

Kids are a product of their environment and will think that it is exceptable behavior if it is not stopped. We all need to take steps to end Domestic Violence or any violent act for that matter.You could save a life in your own family; I know that because my sister wasn't afraid to get involved and called my neighbours she possibly saved mine.Really, how hard is it to dial 911?


.My name is Elane and I have no formal education in Writing, I did go to high school and college. I do however have life experience with women's issues like child abuse, rape, domestic violence, post traumatic stress disorder, alcoholism and addiction, marriage and divorce, parenting, love and committment, remarriage, step-parenting, chronic illness and disabilities.

By: Elane Williams

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